Choosing to fade

I’m fading gently into obscurity.

It’s OK though, it’s what I think I want. I spent a long time being a charicture of myself. Loud, constantly outgoing, and extroverted. It couldn’t last, and the dreams I had of it leading to something gradually faded away and I found myself looking at the core of who I am.

And so, I fade. I don’t tweet exploits or updates about my exciting life. I don’t look at facebook so much. I hover on the outskirts of things, watching and keeping an eye, ultimately fading.

I found it simply could not last. Without infinite time, energy, or money, you cannot maintain life in the public eye. The question must be asked what is it for anyway? I used to think it would be a way to find work, a job, something. Instead I found a degree of emptiness, I found that deep down I was lonelier than before. I’m not any less lonely now, however now I can accept I like my own company and I can reach out for friends if needs be.

So I fade, I’m no longer the arranger of things. I’m not there to entertain or to fix, I’m away in the fringes, walking a different path away from things.

Everything has its time, everything changes and grows. I feel like I’ve had my time, and so I fade, quietly, gently, with a lot of learning. I fade.

Mirrored from Never a dull moment. Please leave comments there thank you!