Crawling from the wreckage

I’ve been thinking (no surprise there) and also ruminating on things and I’ve finally gotten up the courage to post. 

You’ll forgive me for not explaining things fully, I’m sure you can read between the lines and work out what you want to and I won’t be answering many questions (sorry).

I suppose I thought I was someone else for a while, or perhaps I could be someone else. I thought perhaps the rough edges would soften over time and from lack of use and exhibition of behaviours. I thought perhaps I could be different.

Seems I thought wrong. I’m not attacking myself, I’m not hating myself, I’m just accepting myself warts and all for a change. To ignore the rough edges and the flabby bits is to ignore a part of oneself that’s still essential. As much as I strive for perfection and hold myself up to standard that are insane by even my measure. I have to admit that I am human and in being human I have needs and wants and suffer and act when those needs and wants aren’t met and I’m not providing enough self-care.

I describe myself as simple, and in a lot of ways I am. I am relatively simple to understand and simple in my motivations and desires. As much as I like to model life and predict everything that happens, I have to admit that people don’t always conform to models and if/then/else statements. I used to aspire to byzantine complexity, however the more I look at it, the more an elegant simplicity will suffice.

I’ve been looking at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs of late and assessing things, mainly to see what I might have missing, and what I might need to work on. Also just to understand what the core needs of everyone is so that I may look at how to offer them if needs be. It’s been enlightening on a number of levels.

I also feel calm, for everything that’s going on right now I’m quite chilled. I have had my moments of pain, and I have had my moments of growling at people of late, however I have apologised where necessary and am starting to accept that this is part of my nature. It doesn’t make me a “bad” person, it makes me a person who can be snappy at times when they’re hurting. if anything, it makes me human and more accepting of my flaws and faults.

Whilst the overall aim for me is to improve myself, I think I’ve just unlocked a major achievement in accepting myself warts and all and gently sanding down the rough edges rather than berating myself for a lack of immediate perfection.

So, what achievements have you all unlocked recently?

(image borrowed from http://chrisjouan.blogspot.com/)

Mirrored from Tales of the gentleman misadventurer. Please leave comments there thank you!